My feelings on Calvinism

So, I want to take a post and talk a little bit about what I’m feeling with regards to my analysis on Calvinism, which I referred to in my last post. For one thing, I don’t want this to be a purely intellectual exercise. I want this to be something that’s impacts me, and so I want to communicate that to you all, as well. Plus, this is good practice for me, since expressing my feelings is not something I do often enough. One caveat: these are raw feelings, not my actual analysis. These things should be taken with a grain of salt, and hopefully my actual study will be more objective.

Calvinism. This word is bringing up a lot of feelings in me right now, so here we go:

• Intimidation. This is tough stuff. Some of the most influential Christian writers ever have really struggled with these issues. It has divided and befuddled Christians for centuries. Just getting the vocabulary correct could challenge even the most scholarly. The questions raised are that of an incredible, infinite God. And here I am, just a computer geek, with no formal Biblical training, trying to make sense of it all.
• Annoyance. This is hard to admit. I try to hide it behind intellectual objectivity and teasing those who would disagree with me (sorry JTR). But the fact is, I’m not objective about this. The idea that my free will is not completely my own is a little bit offensive to me. I think that if this is the conclusion that God leads me to, I will be able to swallow my pride and accept it, but it’s definitely counter to what I’ve always thought.
• Excitement. I’m actually very excited to see where God leads me in this adventure. I know that whatever I discover, it will deepen my relationship with Him. I’m not in the least worried about discovering that I’m not His elect or something. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am His and He is mine. I cannot prove this intellectually, but I have a better kind of proof: experiential truth. I know my God, He is passionately involved in my life, and I have seen Him at work in it.
• Determination. This is the largest Bible study that I’ve ever taken up. I don’t doubt that it will be months before I complete it (at least). But I feel that this is something that God has brought me face-to-face with, and by His strength, I will resolve this in my mind.
• Anticipation. This is related to the excitement, but I look forward to seeing what comes out of this. Several years ago, I took the topic of “speaking in tongues”, and did an in-depth study on it, because I was wrestling with it in my mind, much like I am now with Calvinism. I came out of that with a much deeper understanding of what I believe about the subject, and a lot of confidence. I look forward to seeing God do something similar in this instance as well.

God, please, reveal Yourself to me. I desire to know You more, so that You might be glorified in me more, for You are worthy. I am incapable, God, but I look forward to seeing You work mightily and faithfully in my life. Thank You for Your love, of which I so unworthy.

P.S. – Technically, I missed my once-a-week deadline by a day. Sorry! In my defense, I’m in the midst of planning two moves (one of which is coming in 3 days!) and a wedding, plus work suddenly exploded on me last week, so I think I’m doing pretty well, all things considered.

How to address Calvinism

One thing that God has been bring me face-to-face with lately is the view of Calvinism. Through multiple avenues, He has challenged me to wrestle with the issues that Calvinism brings up, relative to what I have always been taught. This post marks the beginning of what will probably be a number of posts on these issues. It will be fairly doctrinal and theological in nature, but I trust it will challenge you to think as well.

In googling around for various information on Calvinism, I stumbled across this site. There are a number of articles on this site, some pertaining to Calvinism and some not. I agree with some of the things the author suggests, and disagree with others. But I certainly appreciate his logical, precise approach. So I want to begin with a response to one of his articles.

In this article, he essentially boils Calvinism down to a single question. He says that “Either God’s choice of man is the basis for man’s choice of God, or man’s choice of God is the basis for God’s choice of man.” Calvinism would suggest the first, that a person only chooses God because of God’s choice of that person. On the other hand, I have always been taught the second: that we choose God, and in His foreknowledge, He elects us.

As far as I can tell, this is an accurate, very simple way of summarizing Calvinism. If the Calvinist is right about this, then it makes sense that they would conclude that man is Totally depraved, that God must Unconditionally elect us, that His atonement would be Limited, that His grace must be Irresistible, and that true saints will Persevere. In case you didn’t recognize it, that’s TULIP, the 5 points of Calvinism as it relates to the doctrines of salvation.

So what about this question? Is God’s choice of a man the basis of that man’s choice for God, or is a man’s choice of God the basis of God’s choice of that man? This is still something I’m kicking around in my head, so I’m not going to attempt to answer it now. But I do want to lay the groundwork for how I’m going to try to answer this question.

I propose to tackle this question in 4 parts. Before I answer the question, I want to clearly define the terms in the question. So the first three parts will be to look at “God’s choice of man”, “man’s choice of God”, and “the basis of”. In part 4, then, I will come back and try to tie together these definitions and answer the whole question. Now I’m not saying that I will settle this question in 4 posts. Looking at each part will probably take multiple posts. However, I think these are the steps that I need to follow, in my own mind, in order to be able to answer the question.

A perspective

I’m sitting here in the quiet of the morning, before my work day has begun. Christmas is just past, and the new year is looming just around the corner. I wanted to take a minute to try to express what I’m feeling right now before the routine and chaos kick back in. This will be the most personal entry I’ve made on this blog.

Christmas was really great. My whole immediate family was together for the first time in many months. We got to spend many hours talking, joking, playing, teasing, laughing, and encouraging each other, even in the midst of sorrow. I also got to catch up with many old friends, which is always fun. On top of that, God has been doing a really interesting work in my life, teaching me many things, and that continued over vacation. So I feel deeply refreshed as a result of the past week or so of time away.

And looking back over the past year encourages me too. A year ago I was newly engaged, with a lot of questions about where God was leading us. We didn’t know what state we were going to live in, when we were getting married, what job I was going to be in, or much of anything else. Now, here we are, with the questions answered, teetering on the edge of the chaos of two moves and a wedding that will introduce us to our new life together. We’ve come a long way this year. God has taught us much as a couple, and we’ve gotten a lot done as well.

So looking forward also encourages me. New friends, a new church, a new life together, new things God is teaching us, a (relatively) new job, a new apartment – there are exciting times ahead. The next few months may be crazy, but I know that God is good, and will see us through it all.

To my family and long-time friends – I thank God for you, and thank you for putting up with me for so many years. I love you all. To my new friends – I look forward with great anticipation to getting to know you all better, and sharing in our community in Christ together. And to my beloved – I love you dearly, and can’t wait to spend my life with you.

God, every good and perfect gift comes from you. And I’ve gotten an awful lot of awfully good gifts this year. Thank you. I give you this new year, holding it in an open hand. Do with it as you please. May I never view my life selfishly, as something from which to get happiness, but rather as something which should give you glory, for you alone are worthy.

A Christmas poem

I received this in my inbox today, and thought I’d pass it on. It came from www.mikeysFunnies.com

THE MIRACLE DREAMS
By Susie M. Best

That night when in Judean skies
the mystic star dispensed its light,
a blind man moved in his sleep-
and dreamed that He had sight.

That night when shepherds heard the song
of hosts angelic choiring near,
a deaf man stirred in slumber’s spell-
and dreamed that he could hear.

That night when in the cattle stall
slept child and mother cheek by jowl,
a cripple turned his twisted limbs-
and dreamed that he was whole.

That night when o’er the newborn babe
the tender Mary rose to lean,
a loathsome leper smiled in sleep-
and dreamed that he was clean.

That night when to a mother’s breast
the little King was held secure,
a harlot slept in happy sleep-
and dreamed that she was pure.

That night when in the manger lay
the sanctified who came to save
a man moved in the sleep of death-
and dreamed there was no grave.

Some brutal honesty, with a side of hope

God is such a masterful teacher. I love watching him weave together messages from completely different people in my life to form exactly the lesson I need to hear. Today was such a day.

Message number one came at church, in the main service. My pastor preached a great sermon about how we should live in such a way that unbelievers will look at our lives and say “I may not interested in what person believes, but if I were, I would want to be like him.” The idea is that as the Holy Spirit works in their hearts, we need to be a living example of what He is pointing them towards. Pastor Mike pounded this home, citing Scripture after Scripture.

Looking at my own life, I had to admit that I don’t feel as if I live this way. I can’t imagine unbelievers at work (which is where most of my dealings with unbelievers happen) desiring to live the way they see me live. Ouch. Time for me to eat humble pie. What pastor Mike didn’t deal very much with, though, was how to go about changing this.

Enter message two.

Message two came courtesy of my Sunday School class, less than an hour later. God decided not to leave me hanging, I guess. In Sunday school, we’ve been studying our way through James. In particular, we are currently in James 1, talking about how to “receive with meekness the engrafted word” (vs. 21), and, in turn, to be “doers of the word, and not hearers only” (vs. 22).

It occurred to me during the discussion that this is the perfect completion of the first lesson. That is, there are actually (at least) two ways to live before unbelievers in a way that will make them take notice, and, ultimately, glorify God (Matthew 5:16) . The first way is ideal, and it’s what Pastor Mike talked about: simply live rightly before them. As Matthew 5 says, do good works. But the second way is, when Scripture reveals that you have not lived rightly before them, to be humble and diligent enough to change it. This is also powerful way to impact unbelievers, because it shows that you are not simply following a religion, but following a Person, who is alive and active in this world and can change their lives too.

So, in summary: if we live rightly, we succeed in demonstrating God’s character to unbelievers. And if when we don’t, it’s still an opportunity to demonstrate God’s ability to change lives. Sounds like a win-win situation to me! We already have the victory!

God, may you be glorified in the good works that I do, for they are only done by your power anyway. And grant me the humility and the diligence to grow in my likeness of You, so that I may glorify you in that as well.

Some random thoughts

I have a lot of random thoughts bouncing around in my head today. This blog entry by JTR yesterday, and 2 fascinating lessons from Scripture in church today have stimulated a lot of thinking, but with no particular conclusion. So, to get them off my chest, I just jotted down some ideas, in case they spark anyone else’s imagination. Here they are, in raw, jumbled form:

• All sin stems from unbelief
• Our christian walk is the struggle to rid ourselves of all unbelief
• If we believed completely, we would not sin
• Is childlike faith related to a lack of knowledge?
• Our actions should speak loudly to unbelievers
• When we compare our actions to Scripture, and realize they don’t match up, it is still an opportunity to speak loudly to unbelievers, by making corrections to our life in accordance with Scripture
• Knowledge and action must go together

Thoughts and comments welcome!

Quick to listen and slow to speak…especially if you have a toothbrush in your mouth

Another comment about someone else’s blog today. Don’t worry, this one isn’t as long or as tear-jerking as yesterday’s. Anyway, here it is.

First, I must say, the toothbrush metaphor is quite funny. Especially with the little picture at the beginning. And really especially if you know JTR in person, and can hear him in your head saying the words as you read the post.

In all seriousness, though, he makes some great points, and does an excellent job at backing them up with Scripture. Communication is high on the (long) list of things God is working on my heart these days. Here’s one thing I would add to the list (I’ll probably add more later):

Lay it all out. I remember one conversation in particular with Melissa where I was apparently talking through not only a toothbrush, but both hands, and whatever else was handy. It wasn’t until I literally got on a plane, flew down there, and really poured out my heart to her, holding nothing back, that we communicated clearly. I started to learn then that real communication required some vulnerability.

By the way, I’d be interested in hearing from those of you who know me, how do I do at the things on this list?

An interesting post

Just a quick note today. I ran across this today, purely by accident, looking for something else. Actually, more likely, it was a divine “coincidence”. Anyway, it describes well how I feel about what I would like for this blog to become someday. Enjoy!

Was I really ready to say Jesus lied?

So, I’m studying the life of Christ right now. And I ran across an interesting passage. I’ll give you the reference at the end. In this passage, though, the disciples are asking Jesus to go up with them to a feast. Jesus declines, saying that His time had not yet come, and that the world hates him. He tells them to go to the feast, and says again that He is not going. Two verses later, after the disciples had left, Jesus goes up to the feast secretly.

Whoah, back up…

I re-read the passage several times. Yes, Jesus clearly said he was not going to the feast. Yes, Jesus clearly went to the feast. I scratched my head and re-read it a few more times. Jesus wasn’t under any kind of duress. He simply said one thing and did another. He lied.

Then, I read it again, and noticed a word I had missed. Essentially, what He said was not “I am not going to the feast”, but “I am not going to the feast yet“. Oh. Re-reading the passage with that word in there makes a whole lot more sense. In fact, He didn’t lie to His disciples, He practically told them he was going to come later.

Whew. Ok, Jesus isn’t a liar. Crisis solved. Reflecting, though, I think there’s a bigger lesson for me to learn from this. Several, in fact:

1. Studying Scripture can be hard. Missing something small can completely skew your interpretation of a passage. I need to be very careful in my study of Scripture.
2. On a related note, I need to be careful to rely on the Holy Spirit. For me, personally, it’s easy to come to Scripture saying “I’m going to analyze this out logically and break it down until my brain spits out the meaning.” In fact, my attitude needs to be the attitude that Paul was instructing Timothy to have when he said “Consider what I say, and the Lord give the understanding in all things” (II Timothy 2:7, KJV). I need to study carefully, but rely on the Holy Spirit for the actual understanding
3. On a very simple practical note, there’s a saying in the software engineering community: “Select’s not broken”. The idea is that if there’s an application that hundreds of people are using, and none of them are having the problem you’re having with it, chances are that you’re doing something wrong, and the application isn’t broken. Applied to the study of Scripture: If everything I’ve ever been taught and learned myself about Scripture says that Jesus never lied, and I come across a verse that seems to say He does, chances are that I’m reading that verse wrong.

By the way, the passage is John 7:1-13. The ‘yet’ that I missed was in verse 8.

Lord, teach me who you are. Make me humble enough to get out of your way. By your Holy Spirit, make me more like Jesus. I lack wisdom, and ask it of you, knowing that you will give it generously, for Your Name’s sake. Amen.

Ugh, 2 months already

Ok, so it’s been 2 months since my first blog entry already. Sigh. That didn’t work out so well. Time to regroup.

First, I need to make an actual commitment. So, here goes: I now commit to blogging at least once a week. That can’t be too hard. Sunday afternoons are usually not busy, so every Sunday, if I haven’t blogged for the week already, I promise to do so. You can hold me to that.

Second, I need to be a little….ok, a LOT more proactive in letting people know about my blog. I’m not sure how I thought people were going to find it the first time. This time, though, I’m going to send out a mass emailing, so there are no misunderstandings. I need to do that anyway to let people know about the wedding site.

So I’ll work on that today. And my first actual blog containing real content will go up today or tomorrow. I promise.